Well it has been a while since I’ve posted anything, so any
readers I may have had may have abandoned me! Still I will post, even if it is
only for me and my Darlin to read 30 years from now and laugh at how goofy I
was….
A lot is going on here in our little corner of the world. We
are in the final stages of preparing for the birth of our son, who is hinting
at a possible early debut (we’ll know Friday when the doctors use the magic TV
to look at him). My Beautiful Bride has worked so hard getting every little
thing in place we have nothing left to do but birth him. And by “we”, I mean my
Bride. Really, what can a guy do in the labor and delivery room but stand there
awkwardly and try to stay out of the way? As men, we are in quite the pickle when it
comes to giving birth. The closest we
can even come is passing a kidney stone and even then, we’re up and back to
work within a couple of days. There’s no weight gain with kidney stones and
although we may carry them longer than the requisite 9 months, we don’t notice
them until it’s time to “deliver” one. And boy do you notice then! Kidney stones
don’t kick you in the ribs in the middle of the night like an alien life form
trying to burst through your diaphragm and one never hears of a kidney stone
taking up residence on your bladder making you feel as if you have to relieve
yourself 12 hours a day. To that I say to the women of the world who are have
given birth or are about to give birth, kudos to you. To the women who have
not, and are contemplating it, I say take up needle craft. The pain is less, the
wounds heal quicker, and if you end up not liking the end product you can rip
it up, throw it away, and start over. (This action is apparently frowned on in most
civilized societies when done to children….)
In addition to the new addition to the Coop, The Rocking PMH
Ranch is about to formalize its existence. What this entails is having the
Great State of Texas give us written permission to conduct business for a small
fee. And by small fee I mean not a small fee at all. Small fees to me are the
$2.00 late-fees for not turning in a movie on time, not the cumulative fees
collected by the various agencies here in exponential redundancy. For example, the State charges a fee to
formalize a company in whatever structure you choose, and then based on that
structure the company either pays Federal Taxes (separate from the individual
owner, who ALSO pays taxes), or the company passes on the taxation to the
owners, who aren’t making anything in the first place. Then the State also
collects a “franchise” tax (whether you are franchised or not) on top of the
formation fees, and then collects sales tax on the product. You should start turning a profit about the
time you’re old enough to retire.
All joking aside, our Governor (the Honorable Rick Perry)
and some members of our legislature have done some wonderful things for small
farms this session. They have amended the Cottage Food Act to allow cottage food producers to make low-risk foods – such as
baked goods, jams and jellies, dried herbs, dried fruits and vegetables,
granolas, dry mixes, pickles, and coffee/tea mixes – and sell at places such as
farmers markets and community events, as well as from home. This is a fantastic
boost for my Bride and I because this means we don’t have to set up a “commercial”
kitchen separate from the residence (to the tune of $20,000.00!). She can put her salsa and jam in jars and
share them with the world. Oh yeah, AND Gov. Perry signed into law a
requirement to drug test before you can collect your welfare benefits. That right
there is nearly enough to make me vote for him for president!
We are excited about this new step in
our adventure, and are excited about working with our new partners in this
venture. I think they are excited as well, at least until it’s time to kill,
pluck, eviscerate, and package the chickens...then we’ll see! All in all, we
are having a great life. We have fun, we work hard, we don’t ask the government
for anything, and we have a wonderful family. From the multitude of offspring
running around, to the best parents a couple could ask for, and the assortment
of critters that demand our attention (wait, I already mentioned the kids, didn’t
I?), my Darlin and I are (in the words of Phil Robertson) Happy, Happy, Happy…
Until next time,
